Yesterday an article came out on msnbc.com entitled "Marriage Eludes High-Achieving Black Women". In this article two Yale researchers supposedly crunched some numbers, did some interviews, and came to the conclusion that the more educated and successful sisters became, the less likely they are to get married and have a family if they so choose.  Now maybe my c.o.n. spiracy spidey senses are off a bit but I saw so much innuendo and so many disturbing undertones in this article it literally fucked up my whole day. No for real....I was in a pissy mood for the remainder of the day! They said that single sisters were hesitant to have a child because they didnt wanna seem "ghetto", but when a single white women has a child she is deemed "liberal". Also that another reason for this trend is that there arent enough highly educated/accomplished brothers to go around. And the when the brothers are highly educated/accomplished they tend to "outmarry" AKA marry anybody else but a sister. I know propaganda when I read it dammit!!! Please heed the words of the great Chuck D yall....'Dont believe the hype'. "So THEY say we're running out of time/ We're running out of water/ We're running out of ...

She said "I don't know... This guy seems too nice. I'm suspicious." And I go "Well damn cant the brother just be genuinely nice?" Then she replies "Never came across that before. He gives compliments, he wants to see me. WTF?" Aint that something? The fact that he DOES give compliments and makes it known to her that he wants to see her makes her pump her brakes and put her guards up?!?!? That leads me to wonder what kinda behavior had she experienced before and began to take for "the norm" if those 2 genuine gestures throw her off course. In "Cant Get Enough Of Your Love Babe" Barry White has a line that goes "What kinda love is this that you're giving me?". I've always loved that line. You know you getting some real shit when you gotta step back and examine it like "Hold up! This is some new shit! I aint never been loved like this before! What kinda love did you say this was again?" lol I cant speak for anyone else but I dont know how NOT to wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm digging on you, you'll know it. And most likely everyone around me will ...

For as long as I can remember I've always said that me and marriage would be a one shot deal. Im only getting married once. And we will make it work dammit! Point blank, period. Aint gon be no damn divorcing. Still feel that way actually. But in all honesty I suppose my overly fantasizing ass cant really make that call until Im knee deep in it. Real life often gets in the way of what we intend to do. No one marries with the intention of eventually divorcing the person you just swore to love, honor and cherish for the rest of your days. You said 'for richer or poorer, in sickness and health' and you were supposed to mean that shit! It seems that everyone wants it but everyone isnt willing to work for it and stick it out. The divorce rate is only getting higher. Everyone wants the marriage their grandparents had back in the day. Everyone wants to celebrate their 50th anniversary like Anna and Russell (That was a Cosby Show reference for those of you not following), or to use a real life couple, like Ruby and Ossie, but hell even THEY had an open ...

Last week a friend of mine and I were discussing relationships (lol...been doing that alot lately it seems) and the topic of Soulmates came up. So maybe Im looking at it with a lil too much reality and the such....but the notion of a 'soulmate' is absolutely ridiculous when you really think about it. What is a soulmate? The one person in the world that you were born to be with and vice versa. WTF? Does that really make sense? Cant you just get along really well with someone? Is compatibility not enough? Must it be 'soulmates'?!!?!? Most people live in the same city for the majority of their life looking for their soulmate? If Im in Chicago...how ignorant would I have to be to assume my soulmate was also in Chicago. What if my soulmate is in Iceland or some shit. What if they were born 30 years before or after me?...b/c you know people always assume their soulmate is in the same age range. Dont get me wrong....Im probably the most fairytale ending wishing, head in the clouds, dreaming, sentimental dude you've ever came across in your life, but the notion of just one person meant for me to truly ...

1. "Just give me a minute/ I betcha er'thang gon turn out lovely/ Just give me a minute/ Imma be alright.....just trust me!" - "Bubba Sparxxx "Lovely" 2. And I start this one off with that quote becuz dammit Im finna do some venting on this list. I think we're going to '50' on this like we usta do! 3. Stick around and read if you like. If not....I'll see ya when I see ya I guess 4. I hate to say it but....I got some straight up niggers in my family 5. And yes with the 'er' as opposed to the 'a' at the end. 6. You try to help niggers and they just shit all over you! 7. Damn shame these mugs is my blood....came out my daddy nut sac just like me and I gotta cut them off! 8. Learn the power of saying 'NO' my good people 9. It will save you TONS of grief down the line.....trust! 10. "Tell me now/Can you make it past your Caspers?/ So we can finally fly off into NASA/....We were never meant to be/Baby we just happened/ So PLEEEEASE dont mess up the trick/ Hey Young World...Im the new Slick Rick/ They say I move too quick/but we ...

The debate on whether men and women can be platonic friends seems to be eternal. At the risk of this possibly being the last blog I ever write becuz the lench mob has gotten a hold of me.... I am gonna step out on a limb and tell you the somewhat complete and honest truth about this matter. Ladies are you sure you're ready? REALLY REALLY sure? Okay here goes.... Can men and women be just friends? The answer is a resounding yes! But know that that 'yes' comes with one condition. What is this condition you may ask? The condition is this : Men and Women can be just friends, but women must keep in mind that given the right circumstances the man would almost ALWAYS let it go down. (Please take note that this is ALL my factual opinion, interpretation, and point of view on the situation. Also notice that I use words like'rarely', 'almost', 'pretty much', and 'probably'. Real non-committal type words, ya dig?) What are these circumstances you may ask? First, let me go back and preface this whole blog by saying that all that I've said thus far and all that I will say is with the presumption that ...

A friend taking a course on human sexuality recently had me take a brief survey concerning perceived notions of "promiscuity" and it got me to thinking. I answered the questions as honestly as possible and while I'm pretty sure I'm no saint,I know for damn sure I'mfar from being a304 . (That's old pager code for those not in the know.) So then that whole episode got me to thinkingaboutmy "number". And you know which "number" I speak of. Yes THAT number! Remember Chris Rock's bit about this? When the guy asks the girl her number and she tells him that it's two."Two?!!?!? Two!?!?!?!? I guess that's just how you raised!" he responds. Chris' point was that as far as men are concerned that ANY number a woman gives is gonna seem high b/c of the double standard that women are unfortunately burdened with. I think he exaggerated the point a bit for the sake of comedy but there was definitely truth there. As far as my personal number, Ithink it's safe to say that I'm never gonnado Wilt numbers. Hell, I hope to never even reach triplefigures let alone 5 figures. How the hell did dude even find time to play ball ...

So let me set it up for you. Me and the homie 'K' are shooting the shit via google chat and we start talking about relationships and the such. And at the end she goes all Charlie/Ronnie/Robert AKA The Gap Band and drops the bomb on me! I dont wanna spoil it for you....but this revelation that she enlightens me to....well I always thought it was the other way around, no? __________________________________________________________________________________________________ K: me and him are coming up on four years next month. me: word? K: yeah. not feeling 100% about it tho. so, not sure what will happen. me: hang in there kid K: yeah, i am. i have issues....which you know. lol. but I just want certain things that i may not get me: dont we all honey? im not advovating settling K: yeah, not a good idea. me: there are gonna be certain traits with anyone that we deal with that we'll have to ask ourselves if we can live with. i dont think any of us is gonna be lucky enough to meet our ideal mate that we've created in our head K: yeah, i wonder though. i feel sean combs on his philosophy 'why buy a car now when you know you may see ...

You know how in the movie 'Love Jones' when Nina and Darius hit it off, then Nina's ex-fianceé, Marvin tries to come back in the picture? Marvin invites Nina to NY to see if there is truly anything left, and b/c she wanted to inquire about some job possibilities out there she contemplates going. Nina is concerned how this will go over with Darius and Josie recommends that she tell Darius and if he acts the fool that means she "has" him and there is no need to go to NY. However if he tries to play it cool Nina should go and teach "his ass a lesson." *PAUSE* (Yo I hate LOVE GAMES! I think we're too grown for that. It was cool in high school but not so much now. People just need to be direct and up front about shit yo. You start playing the love games and shit gets tricky. Use your budnippers people. Nip that shit in the bud, say what you mean, be open and direct and you will be just fine like Mary J.) Anyways....once Nina decides to follow Josie's advice shit goes haywire and it takes them a year to get it back together! But ...