Dear Mr. Pedott,

Over the years I’ve enjoyed the commercials for your products. Who can forget that happy little old white lady clapping her lights off and turning to get a good night’s sleep in one smooth rhythmic motion? And the “Chia Pet” jingle has always been a favorite of mine : “Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!”. I love that shit man!!!!!!

With that said though, I must tell you that I am gravely disturbed by your latest Chia “pet”. An Obama Chia Pet? Is THAT what’s hot up in these streets right now? So you say it came to you in a dream, eh? Funny thing about dreams : Sometimes they can make no fucking sense!!!!! You know I once dreamed that I decapitated 3 people with a machete for no good reason? You know what else? I DID NOT FUCKING FOLLOW THROUGHWITH IT!!!!

At no time did it occur to you that this was possibly in bad taste and just would not be a good look? You ran it by some key staffers and despite their reservations you decided to press on?

Now listen Joey…..in my heart of hearts I think you are just a businessman who saw an opportunity to capitalize on this Obama Mania andyou acted on it. I don’t think you meant any harm or ill will. Honestly I don’t even think it to be a racial matter. (You prolly thought I would pull the race card, right? Not this time man, not this time.) You were simply gettingit while the getting’s good, huh? I guess you figured if Strokers “Gentlemen’s” club in Atlanta can have an Obama party, you sure as hell could get away with an Obama Chia Pet!

The sad reality ofall thisis that inevitably there will be people to buy this crap. You will more than likely make a profit and it will all be worth it to you because no matter how dumb, distasteful, and/or outright outrageous, there will ALWAYS be some total re re to buy it.

I ain’t mad at ya thopimpin’

Sincerely,

TJ Armour