These are some of the gifts I only WISH I could give to these people. Barack Obama & Family.....Strength, Courage & Wisdom Gov. Rod Blagojevich........a snowball's chance in hell Evander Holyfield.......a Foreman Grill-esque come up so that he can pay for all his kids w/o having to box until he's 75! Eddie Murphy.......a hit movie! R.Kelly......a whole bunch of female "friends" who are at least 21 The City of Chicago.......to get a new moniker besides 'the city of hella-haters' Aaron McGruder ...........the time and patience to bless us with a 3rd season of 'The Boondocks' Kanye West.... (after hearing "808's& Hearbreak").........some peace and mending Sarah Palin..............................a fucking clue Lil Wayne/Amy Winehouse.............a year long stint in the Betty Ford Clinic The "Real" Housewives of Atlanta............a biiiiiiiig dose of reality and living within their means Beyoncé.................for someone to put the soul back in her music Solangé..................for someone to give her music a shot Real & Chance.....................................matching nooses Yung Berg.............a better 2009 DMX..................to be able to hit the 'Reset' button Plaxico Burress........to be able to hit the 'Reset' button The cast of 'Girlfriends'.......a reunion show and a movie Mayor Daley.........for all the side street snow to be placed on HIS sidestreet George Bush/Dick Cheney..........................for Karma to hurry up and catch both they asses! Here's to you and yours having a Happy Holiday season. Please ...

I usta swear up and down that the Jungle Brothers' song that said "Girl I'll house you" was in fact saying "Where's my houseshoe?" For years my brother sang "I'm in love with you. Fair is fair!" when Miki Howard was actually singing "I'm in love under new management". Then there's my cousin Jesse who loved Janet's "Let's Wait A While" but still couldnt make out that she was singing "....so our love can be greater". Instead he heard the totally non-sensical lyric of "...so our love can Big Rita" And just recently I clowned my friend Danisha b/c she's convinced that in En Vogue's "Hold On" that Cindy adlibs the quip "Screw anothe n*@@a yeah but don’t let go" when upon further review it appears as though she is just scatting, but in Danisha's defense I can hear what she thinks she hears lol. So what you got? What lyric have you flubbed for years? And do you still sing the wrong lyric b/c that's just what you're used to and the song doesnt sound right if you dont sing it like you came to know it? Inspiration : Danisha Danielle, messing these lyrics up since childhood, and being too stubborn to sing it the ...

1. "I should say if anybody wants to tape my conversations, go right ahead, feel free to do it. Whatever I say is always lawful ... I don't believe there's any cloud that hangs over me, I think there's nothing but sunshine hanging over me." - Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich on December 9th, 2008, the day before he was arrested and indicted with hella phone tap evidence against him 2. The sheer, absolute, and absurd audacity of this guy! 3. I mean really....you really figured you'd get away with selling a seat in the US Senate to the highest bidder? 4. Like for real B? Is that what's hot in the streets? Can we say 'drunk off of power'? 5. Shout out to Caryn for bringing that quote to my attention 6. That's our 2nd governor in a row that's went down in scandal 7. And then Jesse Jr. was about all set to pay to play too? 8. Im saying....WTF is with Illinois politics?!!?!?? 9. How's it go Stevland? 10. "There's no principles in what you say/No direction in the things you do/For your world is soon to come to a close/Through the ages all great men have taught/truth and happiness just cant be bought....or sold/Tell me why ...

"I try to bring you 'life' but muthafuckas want 'dead'" - Jay Z "Young G's" That lyric lends it's self to a theory that I have. The theory is basically about how people tend to respond to bad more so than good. Like they are more fascinated with bad than good or something. Ever found yourself the willing recipient of some juicy gossip? Hearing "I heard Willie's wife came home early and found him in bed with her sister!" is alot more entertaining than hearing "I hear Willie surprised his wife with a trip to St. Croix!". Now ask yourself, if you were the gossip passer on-er type....which of the two would you be most anxious to share with someone else? Ever heard the phrase "If it bleeds it leads"? Yes? No? Maybe so? Well in the event you havent, that phrase is an age old adage of broadcast news. Every notice when you watch your nightly news that the first story is ALWAYS of a double homicide? The heart warming story about the 96 yr old lady who still gets up every day and walks a mile and a half to volunteer at the local soup kitchen usually gets buried somewhere between ...