Sep 19, 2008
A Convo / The Bomb
Categories: Uncategorized
By teej
So let me set it up for you. Me and the homie ‘K’ are shooting the shit via google chat and we start talking about relationships and the such. And at the end she goes all Charlie/Ronnie/Robert AKA The Gap Band and drops the bomb on me! I dont wanna spoil it for you….but this revelation that she enlightens me to….well I always thought it was the other way around, no?
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K: me and him are coming up on four years next month.
me: word?
K: yeah. not feeling 100% about it tho. so, not sure what will happen.
me: hang in there kid
K: yeah, i am. i have issues….which you know. lol. but I just want certain things that i may not get
me: dont we all honey? im not advovating settling
K: yeah, not a good idea.
me: there are gonna be certain traits with anyone that we deal with
that we’ll have to ask ourselves if we can live with. i dont think any of us is
gonna be lucky enough to meet our ideal mate that we’ve created in our head
K: yeah, i wonder though. i feel sean combs on his philosophy
‘why buy a car now when you know you may see the new 2010 and really be impresssed?”
me: yeah but new cars come out every year. cant buy a new car every year
K: indeed. yeah, but you can lease instead of buying. just in case. lol
me: not if you want stability and longevity. lease ur heart away…if you dont ever intend to own
K: i have add when it comes to these things.
me: last i heard….leasing was cool b/c you can opt out…but owning is where its at
K: well, i wouldn’t know. and as many people as i know getting a divorce, im wondering
me: the thing with owning is….when something goes wrong
you cant trade it in…you gotta do the repairs and whatnot
K: and will the cost of such repairs increase the value? or not?
who knows. and if the repairs are too costly. you may come out upside down. lol
me: these are the variables that we must deal with
K: i know. that’s why i wish i were a man.as a woman i’m on a time clock if i want offspring.
if i were a man, i could take 40 years to decide.
me: yeah well…doesnt the woman choose the man?
K: clearly, no
me: clearly yes….if she is real about it and realizes that men arent perfect and will never be you just gotta find the imperfect one that best suits you
K: man, good dick rules the world!
me: lol. wow!
K: a woman’s choice only happens up until that is discovered. after that, it’s a wrap.
me: lol…i have no words for that
K: yeah run tel dat!
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Now I ask you good people…..has this always been the case? Was it not the other way around just a minute ago? Is this development recent? Was the Devil’s greatest trick really convincing the world he didnt exist?
What say you?
*Inspiration : This convo OBVIOUSLY, the timeless battle of the sexes, Hindsight being 20/20, and the (so called) power of the p.u…….you know the rest!
September 19th, 2008 at 8:58 am
It would seem that your friend isn’t settled into or married to who she is. In my humble opinion. Marriages that last years and are happy to boot started with people who know themselves.
Learning who we are is a serious growth process. A lot of the times we don’t want to except the fact the we don’t fully know ourselves. That right there is a deal breaker. How can you be happy with someone else and you aren’t happy with yourself. Now, you are just settling for what you are willing to put out instead of being the best person you can be.
Now, as for the power of the P**** and a good D*** rules the world. I think it’s crap. I truly believe that it’s mind of matter. If you don’t pay attention to the matters of the mind then you are saying your outcome doesn’t matter. (what did you just say)…okay it’s like this. A mental screw will get you over a physical one anytime. Chew on that.
D
September 19th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Di** or Even Good **ck in my opinion doesn’t rule the world… Cash rules the world…. sorry as that may seem it’s true. Women no matter how objectified they are made to be or even glorified… seem to be the big “get”. We are the reason, sad to say, that some men strive to up their status or even fake their status. I’ve met very very very few women that strive to keep status or appearance up because they wanted good d*ck. I have however met women and known women that fake status or keep it tight…. for a Good Man or a Rich Man that could financially carry them both. BUT…. heres where it gets good…. A woman that has it ALL??? That’s the woman that would say something like your friend K said… Because Teej, like I’ve always said: girls like me who choose our dreams and careers over a relationship… after we get everything we want…. We suddenly discover a void in our loins.. er uh.. our lives and we want to spoon and be wooed and be made love too… We make better lovers at that point in our lives and we want to try it out… and although it may consume us a little… D*ck won’t ever RULE our world… because all we have to do is step outside and holler “P*ssy! Get your Free P*ssy here”!! and D*ck will start poppin up and out EVERYWHERE…… A man sometimes no matter how successful… really has to either pursue it or God Bless their hearts… wade thru Gold diggers to find a Good Clean girl… either way it goes…. And I am not bragging about it… I was just born into it… the real power remains in the general nether regions of the southern area of the female cootch snatch… or as my Grandma (rest her soul) made us call it… The Peachy Plum. Your friend K. is allowed her opinion but between U and Me?… She Just likes to f*ck… Not that there’s anything wrong with that… some of my best friends are F*ckers… lol.
Great write Teej!
September 19th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
I guess it’s not as simple as who chooses whom. On the one hand we get choose whether or not we are open to trying you guys out, but since men most often are the commitment-phobs, at the end of the day he either chooses to settle down with you or not. 9 times of out 10 you guys are the one popping the question. We simply hope that you have enough sense to see that we are “the one.”
However, it doesn’t really take that long to figure that out. 4 years is a long to time to “date.” What more are you trying to figure out? Either you are ready to settle down or you’re not. At this point in the game I expect you to know what you are looking for and after about a year max you should be able to see if I’m it or not and vice versa. A man has a year (of exclusivity) to see if I’m his queen, if not ,no biggie its just on to the next relationship. I put the caveat of exclusivity in there to say that that 1 yr timer doesn’t start from when we meet, but from when we decided to “be a couple.” Moreover, if after about 3-4 months of dating (see last weeks topic about the 3 month rule) you’re not ready to “be exclusive” I’m peace too. The only way to get an extension is if we decide to live together first and on that item no more than 6 months. I’m not co-habitating for years on end “trying to see if it works.”
Ultimately we choose each other as either party has the option to end the relationship at any time. So ladies need to have a standard about how long they are going to “date” and/or “play house” without getting the commitment (if that is what you want, not everyone wants to be married) and men need to be clear on that and make a decision in a timely fashion.
September 19th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Maaaaaaaaan didn’t we just speak about this teej?! I’m havin a prob settling just because the ‘D’ is good. Now, sure its not what a relationship should be built off of solely, but its a cold deciding factor!
Whats your friend scared of? I say buy that car so she won’t have to deal with these Enterprise Rental mfs.
I don’t think P or D rule anything, but they’re major players in a lot of the things going on in society today.
if anything I’ve just said is confusing, charge it to the nyquil I just took..
September 19th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
LOL@ not being settled into or married to who I am. That’s so far from the truth. I’m so secure in myself that I can’t find a man who has that same characteristic when it comes to himself. So, if anything, I’m bad at finding someone who can meet me where I am physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. But, many women I know are having the same problem. And, there is much more to this convo. It wasn’t about sex at all. The reference to the “D” was only in regard to who really has the upper hand in relationships. It was in jest, really. But, this is cool. Thanks Teej for allowing everyone to comment. It’s all received w/ love.
September 19th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
Ok….I agree with Teej; You have to identify and evaluate those imperfections and ask yourself if you can live with them for the rest of your life.
There has to be something that has kept you with him for damn near four years, and I’m sure it’s not just the power of the “D”??
I look at my current relationship and there are so many things that get under my skin and irritate the HELL out of me (indecisiveness, dependability, accountability, compensation, etc). But the end result is can I live with it? Am I able to make up for the characteristics that he lacks? Do I know who I am?
If it aint worth it gurl…let it go!!!
September 20th, 2008 at 11:43 am
I started to read what some of the people above were saying, then I decided I should stop. I don’t want their ideas to clog mines, although I did grab some good shyt before deciding to stop.
I don’t believe it has anything to do with the P or the D. Since you two went on the automotive analogy tip, let me flip it on the home front. You definitely want good furniture, but its the house that appreciates, ya dig? It shouldnt be the foundation of your relationship, or else yo ass gonna be sitting on that great furniture on the corner while your house is being occupied by another homeowner! Chew on that!
September 20th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Good sex period…. whether that’s good D or good P…. makes people lose their minds and act without good rational sense, and I think sometimes that abandonment of rationality is what’s necessary for people to take that plunge. (Yea, sounds stupid, but bear with me) You could analyze any relationship with anyone to death, constantly weighing the pros and the cons…. and there will ALWAYS be cons. But if you’ve got a person who is just LAYING IT DOWN, it makes those negatives a little easier to stomach (a spoon full of sugar with the bitter pill). Not saying you should settle for things that would otherwise be deal breakers, but it makes those otherwise minor things a lil easier to tolerate. And EVERYONE has those little things.
But yes, women are just as susceptible to good D as men are to good P (and I actually think women are willing to do MORE than men for good D). We are sexual creatures, too…. it’s just that characterization is not as acceptable in society as it is for men.
http://www.adventuresindivorce.wordpress.com
September 20th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Teejy, I feel that things have changed for some women… We are more independent these days… besides who ever said a woman can’t change her mind, get bored in a relationship, or just want to play the field and know she has options?? Perhaps “K” isn’t so sure about her guy anymore, maybe he turned her off… or maybe there’s the fear of knowing that she is moving toward the future with him. We are entitled to change our minds every now and then.
In response to your question about the woman choosing the man, that doesn’t work! And tradtionally the man always chose the woman and they got married and have a family. Now you know me Teejy… I’m not really a shy girl, just a “ChiGirl”… I don’t have a problem with choosing my man… I have, I do… and I’m single. Men are not ready, period. Some are intimidated while others are used to getting the girl, so one more coming along is nothing to them. Sometimes I say “Hey, I’m gonna wait for him to find me”… or better yet “I’m gonna wait for God to send him to me,” and other times I just take my chances, lol. But no, seriously Teejy.. that method doesn’t always work, the girl doesn’t always get the guy. Love just doesn’t always work that way… cuz if that was the trick, I coulda been married several times now, gettin my gangsta mack pimp on!
Peace
September 20th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
…where to start … if people really think it has to do with the power of D*** or P**** …Uh, no… It has everything to do with FEAR … Listen up cuz this is gonna go fast … The root of all evil is fear. People base their entire lives around thinking ‘what if’ … “What IF it don’t work out, What IF it loses value, What IF I made a mistake, What IF I can’t find D***/P**** as good as what I have!” Who has the power? Well, if you ask me on my ‚Äòmoon‚Äô day, I’ll say women cuz men act a straight up fool over a$$! (I know at least 88% of men in prison is there cuz of some woman!.,, but that‚Äôs another blog .. ) THEN, I’ll get a phone call from my girl who has been chasing this same dude for years who aint got nuttin more than what’s in his pants and the power fades. So, what does that mean? It means D*** don‚Äôt have no more power over P**** than P**** have over D***! It’s a case by case basis. Woman! Man! Don’t matter! When you ready to make decisions for yourself, aint a D*** or P**** in the world gone stop you from making that decision or convince you to make another decision. And, before someone writes, Dawn just aint had good D***, let me stop you there. I’ve had D*** so good, I changed every part of me to hold on to it.
Good days…. But then you wake up and realized, life aint about good D*** or good P****. It‚Äôs about YOU and making sure you feel comfortable with ALL the decisions you made in life… So, if that means, you feel comfortable leasing until the new models come out; so be it! If you feel comfortable making a purchase after a year; feel free! Just don‚Äôt use the excuse, ‘the orgasm made me do it.’ It diminishes your intelligences and alleviates responsibility. It fuels the truth; you are afraid, for whatever reason, to take the next step. Next time you are in a position to make a decision, ask yourself; what do I REALLY want? If you start compromising and making excusing for making ANY decision over what you really want ‚Ķ. Fear is in the driver‚Äôs seat. Peace
September 21st, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I think good sex only controls for the first time you have had good sex, once you realise that good sex, while rare, does exist, it becomes less of a reason to stay with certain folks. It’s like a fine person, you put up with a lot of stuff the first time you pull someone that you may consider out of your league, but once you realize that they are actually what you league is supposed to be, (or let’s say we get adult and judge on more substantive measures) you are less likely to put up with all the pretty girl BS
September 22nd, 2008 at 12:38 am
Dick is a powerful thang! I WAS JUST having this convo with my boy Church… Now, u know some of the shit I went thru in the last 6 years with u know who… and the MAIN reason I stuck it out for soooo long is because the sex was sooo good… and Honestly, I’ve NEVER been able to replace that feeling… but there does come a time when a woman comes up to breathe and realizes she needs more than just a good dick to make a her happy…. (but it may just take her, ohhh 5 years or so)…..
September 22nd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Ay check it, good D good P….goodness! Look, my opinion is one small one but here it is: Lust my people is not Love. Love changes degrees over the years, it is constantly in motion, it can be romantic at times or simply deeply compassionate towards your other. Lust on the other hand while changing degrees has nothing to do with matters of the heart, it is a mind and body afrodisiac, a high that tatilizes the senses, so please folk don’t mistaken “pleasures” for love….love is a virtue…lust is a high
September 25th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Four years… wow! Four years you say… that’s deep. I don’t want to be like Sarah Palin and never answer the question… what was the question? Oh yeah, the power of the D#CK and P#SSY. Humm, The D#ck has always had power. Women just haven’t always let men know the power they hold with… well let’s call it good skill and technique. P#ssy reigns supreme in power and has only become less powerful because it has become easier to obtain. Now, that’s just my take on the whole thing.
K if you gotta a good man and a good thing then be like Natalie Cole and ‚Äúhold on to him‚Äù. ‚ÄúIf you’ve got a good man, you’d better keep him‚Ķ Oh I know you’re saying right now, what does she know? Who is she to tell me about my situation, ‚Ķ just don’t let him leave you honey cause then you’ll find out that it wasn’t those real big things you loved about him it was the real small things, ‚Ķ Somebody told me that if you’ve got something that’s good to you and you don’t use it you might lose it. So girls hold on to your good thing.‚Äù
Now that’s only if he is a good thing. If he is a zero go out and find yourself a hero.
And if you are comfortable renting the house go right ahead and rent – homeownership ain’t no joke (take it from an married lady). But don’t be mad when the owner if somebody else the option to buy either.
Evi you done spoke a word. Lust is not Love.
September 25th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Whoa!!! That’s a trip… As a female, I must say that I’d rather own than to lease. There is no real entitlement to “leasing”. It’s sad, because in these days and times everything is backwards. This is another topic, but what ever happened to “chivalry”? And my question to “K” is, are you only in it for the sex????????????
September 29th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
The thought of ones genitalia ruling anything is THE MOST absurd thing I’ve ever heard(male or female)….matter of fact every time I hear it or reference to it - I cringe. Now maybe when I was younger (post high school/early college years)‚Ķ‚ÄúI may‚Äù have believed the hype but then I grew up :o)
So with that being said, anyone who gives power to ones sexual organs (in my humble opinion) still has A LOT of growing up to do.
October 1st, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Too funny. I wrote a blog about this one a few weeks ago myself. I must say that owning is definitely where it’s at. I have come to learn that you can’t compare your make and model with everything on the market. It only matters how you feel behind the wheel.
October 1st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
ALL HAIL THE POWER OF THE P!! Until she meets some really good D!! LOLLL!! Because more than likely, good D…has already encountered plenty of good P!! LOL!! I mean its kinda hard to have bad P, unless ur butt is just stank or added too many flippin miles!! However good D aint walking down the streets all by itself, so attach that to the fact finding an eligible man to go along with it, and we are holding on for dear life!! Now if the woman got good P and GREAT H…(u figure it out) andddd can cook her ass off…Then she wins it all!!!! LOLL!
October 1st, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hahaha. Tina I totally agree with you. Good P and Great H AND can cook…..yeah sign me up! i want her!!!!