It’s Halloween and I love a great scary movie! But I was just thinking about some movies to watch and it hit me that there aren’t many movies with a majority Black cast. The movies that we do see Black folks in, we already know that they, usually a brotha, will be first to go. But the more I thought about it…I came to the conclusion that having a majority Black cast in a scary movie just would not sell many tickets. No one wants to see a 30 minute movie. Confused? Here’s my list of 5 reasons why you most likely will not see an all Black cast in a scary movie. Enjoy!

5) Random Noises in the Basement

You really won’t be able to tell us that something is happening in the basement and see us go down to check it out–solo. If we do, we usually will have something with us that will cause serious damage. Something like a bat, curling iron, broom or shank will do. But a random ‘hello’ into the dimly lit basement (letting the bad guy know where you are), just won’t happen.

4) Checking to see if the ‘killer’ is dead

In movies, you always see the victim get the courage to fight back and actually gets in one good lick to the bad guy–then goes over to ‘check and see if they are dead’. Bad move…to Black folks, we will do what we do and either: 1) RUN…2) keep hitting until they are good and hurt…and then run.

3) Let your friend leave you while they "…be right back"

Everyone knows, traditionally in movies when someone says this, it usually isn’t a good thing. It has actually become the ‘famous last words’ in most movies. Most Black folks would wonder what makes them safer without their friend staying with them..so this won’t fly at all and it’s just too unrealistic.

2) Lose Focus

You ever see how in scary movies, the woman is running away…finally getting away. But she’s dropping keys, tripping over the only branch in the area and can’t get up–kicking dirt around and forgetting how to drive! What’s up with that? I can see screaming…because someone that could help may hear…but does fear really make you lose focus like that? I don’t get that one…and I’m sure you’d agree with this one.

1) We Run!

Plain and simple. You don’t see Black folks walking towards the obviously bad situation like a loud explosive noise or other folks screaming and running. Common sense tells us to ask questions later…run first.

The only exception: Sex

It’s very common to have a situation where you have a nice scene, usually for us men, where the woman is showing her busty chest or has just taken a shower and something happens. Or she, the boyfriend and friends are all in the cabin in the woods getting it on–this is the equalizer. We all have this primal instinct and it isn’t really affected by how we culturally respond.

Am I wrong? What are your thoughts?